If Writers Had Riders

With all the bru-ha-ha lately surrounding rock musicians and their (occasionally outrageous) contract riders, it makes me wonder: Do we writers have “special requirements” before we can settle down to the main event of writing? Does everything need to be just so before we can unleash our creativity?


For fun, I imagined what a contract for a persnickity, rock star writer might look like:  


1. White ceramic mug with WRITER MAMMA in dark blue lettering. Must work for a left-handed writer. (WRITER insists on the print facing her.) 


2. Box of PG Tips black tea, liquid non-dairy creamer, and powdered stevia.

Long-handled teaspoon for stirring. (Note: tea must be steeped exactly five minutes.)


3. Oil-filled space heater, turned on one hour prior to writing session.


4. Supply of Moleskine notebooks, no. 2 pencils (sharpened), and good-quality black ink pens (bold).


5. Ergonomic desk chair with adjustable height/tilt options. 


6. Fast computer with a pleasing screen-saver designed to stimulate creativity.


7. Morning snack: Seven (7) raw almonds, two (2) calimyra figs, and one (1) Godiva dark chocolate truffle.


8. Filtered water, room temperature.


9. Current issue of Writer’s Digest; several books on the craft of writing; dictionary; thesaurus; and Ann Lamont’s book, Bird by Bird.


10. Masseuse for neck, shoulder, and wrist massages every two hours.


11. Silence.



Did your inner-diva recognize any of these? [Cough] mine did.

What would you add to the list?





Write a comment

Comments: 2
  • #1

    Andrea Blythe (Tuesday, 24 February 2015 18:29)

    Haha. Yeah, there were a few of these I would love for myself. But my writing space shifts so often (since I don't have a dedicated space), that I don't think I could even manage one requirement, other than the need for a laptop and/or pen and paper. :)

  • #2

    cindyangellkeeling (Tuesday, 24 February 2015 20:55)

    Sounds like a good place to start! :)