With all the bru-ha-ha lately surrounding rock musicians and their (occasionally outrageous) contract riders, it makes me wonder: Do we writers have “special requirements” before we can settle
down to the main event of writing? Does everything need to be just so before we can unleash our creativity?
For fun, I imagined what a contract for a persnickity, rock star writer might look like:
1. White ceramic mug with WRITER MAMMA in dark blue lettering. Must work for a left-handed writer. (WRITER insists on the print facing her.)
2. Box of PG Tips black tea, liquid non-dairy creamer, and powdered stevia.
Long-handled teaspoon for stirring. (Note: tea must be steeped exactly five minutes.)
3. Oil-filled space heater, turned on one hour prior to writing session.
4. Supply of Moleskine notebooks, no. 2 pencils (sharpened), and good-quality black ink pens (bold).
5. Ergonomic desk chair with adjustable height/tilt options.
6. Fast computer with a pleasing screen-saver designed to stimulate creativity.
7. Morning snack: Seven (7) raw almonds, two (2) calimyra figs, and one (1) Godiva dark chocolate truffle.
8. Filtered water, room temperature.
9. Current issue of Writer’s Digest; several books on the craft of writing; dictionary; thesaurus; and Ann Lamont’s book, Bird by Bird.
10. Masseuse for neck, shoulder, and wrist massages every two hours.
Did your inner-diva recognize any of these? [Cough] mine did.
What would you add to the list?